Wondering. I'm wondering about going private on this blog. Here's the deal: this blog is a really great thing for me. It allows me to not only record certain events in my family's life, but also to process and digest and even get feedback on so many thoughts, ideas, and circumstances that happen in my life as a mom. But, I'm realizing, (yes, perhaps a bit late) that once I put something out there on the internet, (SPOILER ALERT!) IT'S OUT THERE ON THE INTERNET!!!
I am a naturally gregarious person. I'm an ENFJ/T, if the Meyers-Briggs means anything to you. While I am intensely private about some things, I also like the fact that I am a very honest and open person. I truly think that by being real and honest about who we are and what we struggle with it can help others. But what about when it comes to being honest and open about... our kids???
I know that I have benefitted greatly by reading other adoption blogs. From the paper chase to following families who have been home for years, I have learned and grown and benefitted from what they are willing to share. But somehow I tend to write thinking that the only people who will read this blog are:
A. People I know and trust intimately.
B. Fellow adoptive family bloggers who I don't know in person, but who I share this incredible story with and therefore they become people who I know and trust intimately.
But the reality is... once it's out there... it's out there. I have been in situations in the past 6 months where (totally innocently!) someone I know mentioned something about our story (that they read on my blog) to someone I don't really know all that well- and the person who I really don't know asked me about some piece of information that I felt was too private for this random person to know. But... it's my own fault!!! I wrote it and put it out there! No one to blame but me.
Here's the deal. Avé has been really processing some things in her past. I know she is just 3, but that girl is smart as a whip and has a deep soul. She *gets* what she has been through. She has finally started to grieve all she has lost, which I know is a very good thing. But while I am really longing for some advice or even just camaraderie over some of these events, I am really, really hesitant to share what is really going on at any depth because of what I mentioned before. In addition to all that, it's totally HER story. Who am I to put HER intimate details out there on the internet for just anyone to read??? But at the same time, I feel that I have benefitted from so many adoption blogs that really share the whole truth, maybe I should return the favor- maybe I should just put it all out there.
Or... maybe I should just make this blog full of the light stuff and leave it at that. But I know myself. That won't hold my interest for long and eventually I'll abandon it all together. But yet I hesitate to make this blog private simply b/c, well, because I don't read private blogs. Terrible, I know. Even the ones I have been invited to read. It's like remembering that password is just one more thing for my brain to hold on to and it just doesn't happen. So... there's that. I'm afraid if I go private no one will ever read this blog again and then how can I bounce ideas off all of you and hear your opinions on how cute my girl was on the first day of school??? (note to self: GOTTA post those first day of school pix asap!!! this is getting ridiculous!!!)
So. I'm wondering... And I'm asking. Fellow bloggers, what do you think??? I know many of you have struggled with and wrestled out these same issues. If you have it all figured out, please share what helped you come to your decision. If you are struggling like me, share your thoughts on what you have come up with so far. HELP!
PS- is it possible to make SOME posts private and others not??? I looked around a bit on blogger, but it looks like you have to be all or nothing. Thoughts???