Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thankful. Humbled.

You know what? My life is perfect.

It really is.

Does that mean that I am deliriously happy? No. Does that mean that I still feel those lovey-dovey feelings every time I look at my husband? Not necessarily. Does that mean that my house is huge and I can afford to pay someone to clean it? Not at all. Does it mean that my kids are perfect and make their beds every morning without being asked and never argue nor get on my nerves? Uh... yeah, right. Does it even mean that we are wealthy and can afford to adopt internationally during a recession without sacrifice?

...oh, I'm sorry. I just had to stop typing and laugh out loud.

But still, my life is perfect.

I have a husband who really loves me and works so hard to provide for our family. I have an adorable (if tiny) house that I really like. I have two sons who I really think are pretty close to perfect. I have a wonderful community around me. I have friends who really get me and know everything there is to know about me and who inexplicably love me anyway. My parents are healthy. My brothers are awesome. I have everything I need. I have a Savior who never tires of picking me up no matter how often I fall down.

My life is perfect.

I need to give more of it away.

"When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required." Luke 12:48

Why have I been blessed with this life? Why do I get to adopt a precious little girl while her Ethiopian mommy doesn't get to raise her? Why are so many in this world unable to give their children a drink of clean water while I have already purchased Christmas presents for my children and hidden them in my closet? Why all the injustice?

Obviously there are no answers. No easy ones, anyway. But one thing I do know: I wasn't blessed with this great life just to keep it to myself. It wasn't given to me so that I could have a great shoe collection (which I do) nor so that my kids could have the latest video gaming system (which they do) nor so that my family could fill our house with everything we need and then some (which we do). I was blessed with this great life so that I could give it away.

I'm thankful for what I have... but also humbled by it. I need to give more away. Not just my stuff. I need to give more of myself away too.

Monday, November 23, 2009

This MAY be the beginning of a TEENSY little problem...

Okay, so SOME of these are gifts for my niece for Christmas... but the fact remains that I do not even have a daughter yet, and I have already bought her a dolly and a TON of hair bows!!! But I found this site and just couldn't stop myself.

So, we all know what's going to happen. We all know that not even one of these bows is going to stay in her hair longer than a minute. We all know that I'm going to go crazy buying all this girly stuff and she's going to be a total tom-boy who just wants to play in the dirt with Jack and Ben. ...But I just can't help myself!!!

And, although I do not have a daughter yet... the key word is just YET!!!

Sunday, November 8, 2009


Wow. We are at 4 months. Average time to a toddler referral is... NOW. Longest waiting families currently on the list have waited 5 months... but all that means is that SOMETIME IN THE NEXT 60 DAYS WE ARE GOING TO GET OUR REFERRAL!!! (For those not steeped in the adoption vernacular, the referral is when the case worker from your agency calls you up and says, "I have news!" at which point you and your husband drop whatever it is you are doing immediately and rush home to sit in front of the computer at which point you call said case worker back and tell her that you are together in front of the computer and she then emails you the photos and bio info on your new child!!! So you can see... that referral is pretty important!!!!) (It still takes approximately 3-5 months from the point when you accept your referral before all is set for you to travel over to get your baby, though. But it's THE HUGE STEP we are all waiting for in this adoption process! Well, until we start waiting for her to get a court date in Ethiopia, and then to pass court, and then to get a date at the US Embassy in Addis Ababa, and then to get our travel dates... but first we gotta get that REFERRAL!)

I am so thankful for the place I am in right now- anyone who has read this blog longer than 5 minutes knows that I've had my fair share of freak outs during this process. I'm not saying they are gone for good... I'm sure just about the time I'm putting my family on a plane to Africa I shall have the biggest freak out of all, but as of right now, I'm feeling sooooo peaceful and soooooo excited! I honestly can't wait to see her face or their faces!

It's so tempting to imagine seeing her face for the first time in the pictures and bio info that will be emailed to us by our caseworker- it's so easy to imagine seeing those pics and falling in love. But I'm not putting any pressure on myself to feel any kind of instant magical connection when I first get the email with the pictures and bio information attached. I know some people do- and I think that is amazing and great and beautiful... but I don't want to feel like something is wrong if I don't instantly fall in love with a picture. I mean- who wouldn't hope for love at first sight in this circumstance, though, right? But I'm just going to try to take whatever my initial thoughts or feelings are and be okay with them. Whether or not I feel an instant connection with a picture, she is going to be my daughter! What do you think- those who have adopted before me- what did YOU feel when you first saw pictures of your child or children? Was your connection instant or did it grow over the days and weeks between when you first saw that face and the time to travel?

So... any guesses on the day we will get the call??? Any one want to place any bets??? What day do you think will be the...

...lucky day???

Thursday, November 5, 2009

"Eh-NAY eh-NAH-tish nihn." (I am your Mommy) :-)

Guess what I've been trying to learn?

I've been using this.... try and learn a few phrases of this....

Let's just say that Amharic (the main language spoken in Ethiopia) is NOT an easy language. Thankfully the book comes with a CD, but it's still very difficult. I have signs with phrases and pronunciations all over the house. The funniest thing is... our girl may not even SPEAK Amharic! She may speak a tribal language and all this effort will be wasted. But oh, well. If you hear me walking around mumbling "Ah-meh-seh-guh NAH-loh" just say, "You're welcome."

Monday, November 2, 2009

Getting Closer!!!

Okay, I have been the lamest blogger in the world. I blame Facebook. Who can make the time to sit down and actually type out a complete thought or story when you can mini-blog 100 times/day if you want to??? But regardless, there really hasn't been anything to blog about on the adoption front. Still on the wait list... but...

The average wait time for a toddler referral is 4 months, and we will be at 4 months as of November 10th~!!! AVERAGE being the key word. Meaning that we COULD literally get a call tomorrow, or we COULD still be waiting in December. But either way... IT'S GETTING CLOSER!!!!

So today I did something I have NEVER done before. I was in Target and found these delightful little aisles full of things that are pink!!! Did you guys know these existed? I thought Target just sold Star Wars toys and Hot Wheels. But, no! There are so many things I have yet to discover! And then... there she was. On the shelf. Well, actually she was hanging from a plastic hook coming out of her head, but that's beside the point. There she was. Looking at me. And saying that she wanted to come live in my house and play with my LITTLE GIRL!!! So how could I refuse??? Internet, please meet the newest addition to the Gower Family:

Look at her lovely shiny dress! And her super fun yarn hair! Nothing like this has EVER lived in our house!!! Moms with daughters, tell me. Do pretty dollys like this ALWAYS call out to you when you browse through shops? And if so, which bank is the best one to get your loan from to support this habit???

...And so it begins...

Selam! G'day! Hello!