ahn-CHEE lee-JAY-nesh. (You are my daughter.)

She is officially ours and we are officially hers.

I'm so proud to introduce you to my daughter: 

 Lilah Abeba Gower!

Our beautiful daughter!

Adorable!!!!

Referral Picture!  The first picture we ever saw of our girl!

Love those yummy feet!  Wanna eat 'em up!!!

TEARS in her eyes... This one makes me sad for her...

She looks so strong.  Stronger than a little girl should be asked to be.

Lilah Abeba... 
Her Ethiopian father named her Abeba which means 'a flower' "because she is so beautiful."  Those were his words.  That's what he told the Gladney person who interviewed him, and we read those words in our referral.  And yes, indeed, she is beautiful.  The day before we got our referral we chose the name Lilah, which also means 'a flower'.  And we think she's pretty enough to live up to both names.  She's our beautiful flower girl!

My girl Lilah Abeba, we can't wait to see you SMILE.  You've been so strong  So strong for far too long.  We look forward to allowing you to be weak; allowing you to be a little girl.  To holding you when you cry.  To tickling you until you laugh... OH!  How I long to hear your laugh!  We are your family.  And we love you.  We will do whatever it takes to help you be all you ever want to be.  


Because we are YOURS.  Forever.  Forever and ever.  




We travel the week of Spring Break!  Is that great or WHAT?!?!?  My husband predicted we would be traveling March 11-19... and that is exactly the time frame (plus a few more days) that we will probably travel!!!!!!

Introducing Lilah Abeba Gower

Here she is! Along with a bit of our story...

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Busy Weekend = less time to OVER THINK

(yeah, right.)

I am getting ANTSY.  I'm trying not to pin my hopes on my girl passing court on Monday... but I will admit that it's nearly impossible not to!  So it's a good thing that I have a lot going on this weekend to keep me busy.

Tomorrow is my oldest son's 9th birthday party- his actual birthday is next Tuesday the 9th- so it's his "Golden Birthday"!  He is such a great kid.  He prays for his sister every night- the sweetest prayers.  He prays for her to be happy and healthy while she waits for us to come and get her.  He prays that we will be a fun family for her.  He prays that she will like being in our family and that she will know that we will take good care of her.  All of these things totally unprompted by his parents!  He has the best heart.  A few weeks ago he chose a little doll with green hair for his prize at Bible Blast- "To give to my sister!" he explained.

(is he the sweetest or what???)

We are having his party out on our land.  A bunch of the boys are spending the night out there tonight in our barn- of course w/ parents involved.  But, oops!  I had to stay home and make his cake!  ;-)  So I'll just join them out there tomorrow.  It's the perfect place to have a boy birthday party- horses, 4-wheelers, bb-guns, and best of all a big dirt pile that they love to play on.  So THAT will be a blast.

Here's his super dorky cake I made tonight:

(it's supposed to be a dinosaur but it looks like a fish... and it looks like it was made for a 3 year old.  

good thing he's so sweet... 'cause that cake is pathetic.)

Then tomorrow night we are going to an awesome high school production of "Beauty and the Beast" directed by our good friend.  These HS productions are not what you would expect- super talented kids and sets and costumes borrowed from Broadway- so THAT should be fun too.

Then I teach in Ben's class (Kinders and 5's) on Sunday- the last Sunday for me to teach before I officially start my "maternity leave"!!!  I have to admit- I'm glad to be taking a break.  I've been teaching twice a month (once in Ben's and once in Jack's classes) for a couple of years now and so it will be nice to take some time off.  Although I do LOVE that my boys both get excited when they know it's my week to teach in their class- a HUGE compliment!  :-)  And so THAT will be fun- knowing that it will be my last time for a while.

Then Sunday afternoon I get to go to a shower being thrown for me and my girl by my BFF Kelly and my other "gals" at my church.  So many people have reached out and supported us through all this... amazing. And so THAT will be a BIG thrill!

Then Sunday night I get to help Jack make a cake for our Cub Scout "Cake Bake" this week.  And so THAT will be... interesting...

So all in all I have LOTS of wonderful things to look forward to this weekend.  So hopefully all this wonderful stuff will keep my mind busy so that I won't obsess over what will go on at a court in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia on Monday where hopefully the Ministry of Women's Affairs and a judge will find all our papers in order and rule that a sweet little girl... a sweet little girl with sad eyes... a sweet little girl whose smile I dream of seeing one day... is officially OURS and we are officially HERS.  That we are FAMILY.  And THAT will be a good day indeed.

A Little Peek

Just a few more days

and (hopefully) I can show you more...

Seriously, people pay good money

hoping to get lips like these...

And these feet,

I think they are just edible...

Holding on till Monday!

(and congrats to all these people on getting court dates!  hooray!)

Countdown to Court: 6 Days

One week from today I could get a call telling us that our girl has passed court and is officially and legally ours.  AAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!

I got a new photo today from a family who just returned from bringing home their baby boy and  OH. MY. GOSH.  I don't know how she does it but this girl gets more and more gorgeous with every photo!!!  I literally BURST into tears when I saw the photo!!!  I am overwhelmed at the thought that this little girl is going to be MY little girl.  That I will have the honor and privilege of being her Mommy.  That I get to be the one who dries her tears when she wakes up at night, and who teaches her how to skip, and who paints her nails and tells her she is the most beautiful princess God ever dreamed up.  The one who buys her pretty dresses for Easter and reads her bedtime stories and pushes her on the swing.  The one who gets to watch as she grows into a beautiful young lady and someday becomes a Mommy herself.  Oh.  I am overwhelmed.  

But coupled with my joy is the awareness that this is a very serious and daunting task.  I recently started reading Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft but luckily I emailed Emily shortly into the book and she wisely told me to, "Put that book down right now!"  I do NOT recommend that book.  I'm sure it has some good things to say, but in MY opinion I think the author (who had adopted a toddler sometime in the 80's) had a goal in writing that book and it was: "If I can scare people out of adopting a toddler I will be doing them a big favor."  I had already read other great books such as Attaching in Adoption by Deborah D. Gray and The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis both of which I highly recommend.  The latter does an especially good job in my opinion of addressing the very real problems that can arise, but the difference between it and The Weavers Crap, uh, I mean Craft is that Dr. Purvis offers ways to address these problems- actual steps to take to help children who may have difficulties in attachment.  It leaves you on a hopeful note- knowing what to look for but also being equipped to handle these tasks, not just scared of them.

Through these books and from stalking reading many blogs, I have come to realize that toddler adoption IS very different from infant or an older child adoption.  An infant, while she will of course have bonds with her caretaker, when adopted will adapt fairly quickly and bond fairly easily with her new parents.  (of course this is assuming we are talking about a situation where there has not been abuse nor neglect.)  An older child, say 5+ is old enough to take in what is happening.  They are aware of what has happened that put them in the orphanage or foster care center or whatever, and they can be talked to about the family that is going to come and adopt them and bring them into their family.  But a toddler is a whole different story.  A toddler is just starting to exercise control over her world ("Me do it!").  But when it comes to adoption, the children have no control.  What has happened and what is happening to them is completely out of their control AND beyond their comprehension.  Toddlers have no paradigm to understand what has happened nor what is going to happen.  It's just a whole different story.

As I have been reading all these books and preparing to go get our girl I have felt God saying to me, "THIS is what you were made for.  THIS is going to be one of the great purposes of your life."  On the one hand that feels very reassuring- like He is telling me that he has given me gifts and resources to be able to help our girl be all she was meant to be.  That every step I have taken in my life has lead me to this point- so that I could be the mommy SHE needs me to be.  That He is going to be with me every step of the way helping me to make this a beautiful part of all our lives.  On the other hand... the crazy part of my mind hears that and says, "Oh great.  She's going to be really difficult isn't she?  And then I'm going to have to 'cling to these words' in the hour of my darkest night trying to hold on by my fingernails..."  (In reality, it will probably be a bit of both, right?)

I know I'm kind of rambling... but bear with me just a moment more.

We are often asked, "why Ethiopia?" and "why the age range you chose?"  Other than the obvious statistics that we can all quote, the answer is a brilliant, "I dunno."  Really.  Neither Mick nor I have a very strong answer for why we chose Ethiopia, and the age range was even more random than the choice of countries.  But when I look into that girl's eyes... not just any girl's eyes, not even any Ethiopian girl's eyes, but THAT GIRL'S EYES... I feel like I know the answer.  Not many people choose toddler age ranges.  Maybe that has something to do with all the challenges that normally come with that age range and how they can be exacerbated due to the fact that toddlers have a limited capacity to understand what is happening to them and why.

But I think we chose Ethiopia and I think we chose that age range because we were choosing HER.  She's our girl.

A Note from My Brother (a non-adoption related post)

I am lucky enough to be the older sister to two great "little" brothers.  Younger would be a better word to describe them since they are both 6' 4".  One of my brothers, Tracy, is serving in Iraq right now.  This is his third tour.  He's has given 3 years of his life to serve our country and help another one.  The last time he was gone his wife gave birth to their first child.  This time he had to leave his wife, son and baby daughter.  Can you imagine?  If that wouldn't rip your heart out, I don't know what would.  

My husband and I have had so much fun leading the Cub Scout Pack at our boys' school for the past 2 years.  At one of our pack meetings last fall we talked about what it meant to be a hero.  We talked about what it took to be a hero and how heroes were really just people like you and me who, in extraordinary circumstances, stand up for what is right or put themselves in harms way to protect others or something they believe in.  We gave each boy a home-made medal that night as we read notes from their parents that told a reason why they were heroes.  And I got to tell the boys that I have a real-life hero in my family.  My real life hero is my brother, Staff Sergeant Tracy Friend.  It's hard for me to hear the stories from his time in Iraq- hard for me to hear what he endured and what he had to do.  Hard for me to imagine living through such things and maintaining a sense of reality and a sense of self.  But he has done it and indeed, is doing it right now.  He has saved lives- more than one, and more than once.  And the soldiers who serve under him consider him a permanent part of their family.  I was proud to tell the boys about such a man.

At their next Den Meetings the boys all wrote letters to my brother and his friend who he has served with all along, SSG Strube.  The letters were precious and adorable and over and over just said, "Thank You."  They made me cry.  (Just like I'm crying now.)  We sent those letters to my brother, and just recently we got a letter from him to read to the scouts and a photo to show to them.  I wish I had a better scanner because I would love to show you my awesome brother in full gear out in the desert with tanks and hummers throwing up sand and dust on the dunes behind him.  It. Is.  Awesome.  But... scanner is lame.  But I can share his letter with you.

Dear Pack 318,
Thank you for all your cards and letters.  SSG Strube and I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to write to us.


This is our third deployment to Iraq and a lot has changed for the better compared to the first two deployments.  We were here at the beginning of the war.  Now we are here to see the end of the war in Iraq.  It's good to see that all the hard work and sacrifice that has been put into Iraq is finally paying off.


Thanks again,
Staff Sergeant Friend

I'm proud of my brother.  I just want the world to know that.

My Husband is Psychic

Okay, seriously, I should have blogged about this earlier in the week BEFORE we got the call that told us our court date.  It may be hard to believe at this point, BUT it's all true.  A few weeks ago I asked Mick to guess three dates:
1.  The date we would get the call about our court date
2.  When that court date would be
3.  When we would travel.
He very casually shot off a few windows of time and I wrote them down and stuck them up on the fridge.  I knew that the window he had guessed for us to get the call about our court date was this week, but I just now glanced at that note on the fridge and this is what it says:

Call about court date:  Jan. 18-22
Court Date scheduled: Jan 27-Feb 14
Travel:  March 11-19

So... He got the first two right on the money!  Is that a little freaky???  I knew this man was special and gifted... but I did NOT know that he dabbled in the paranormal on the side.

We'll have to wait and see about the travel time but maybe I can get him to ESP me some new windows and a paint job in our girls room over the weekend...