Monday, December 7, 2009

Answering a Few Questions...

I have had SUCH a blast showing my baby girl's picture all over town. For the first few days I had to stop myself from whipping them out to show her cute face to random strangers and check-out people.

Most of the people who read this blog ON the blog are fellow adoptive fams, but this blog also uploads to Facebook and most of the people there have been wondering about the process. Many of my Facebook friends have been wondering when they can see pix and when we get to go get her. So, here's the scoop:

I'm not allowed to post photos online until she passes court in Ethiopia. Right now we are waiting to hear when our court date will be. So for you out-of-towners who just don't want to wait that long to see her sweet-but-unsmiling face, email (or FB message) me your address and I'll make sure you get a Christmas card! Of course she is adorably and prominently featured. :-)

Next, lots of you have asked about when we get to go get her. Well, the process is as follows:
1. Tons of paperwork (check)
2. Get on the wait list (check)
3. Get your referral (check!!!)
4. Child gets a court date in ET and hopefully passes through the first time. (Usually takes 2-3 months from referral date to get first court date.) If they don't pass the first time, they get a second date, etc...
5. Child gets a date at the US Embassy in Addis Ababa (usually 2-6 weeks after passing court)- and we travel as a family to take her to this appointment and bring her home!

So... we are waiting for #4, then of course #5!!! The earliest we could travel would be mid-March (but that would really be dream-land) and the latest it would be around the beginning of June.

I'm sure I'll remember to keep you posted. ;-)

So that's the scoop. Thanks for sharing our joy!!!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Here's how it went down...

So. Yesterday I was at work at my fantastic-totally-provided-by-God-to-help-pay-for-our-adoption job as a curriculum coach at Glenpool Elementary where I was helping some 4th grade teachers with some fluency testing. I had slipped my iPhone into my pocket (on silent), even saying to myself, "Sara is NOT going to call today, but just in case..." At around 11am, right when I had a boy in the middle of a 1 minute timed read, I heard my phone beep signaling that I had a message. I let the boy finish his read and then I slipped the phone out of my pocket to see who had called just in case. IT WAS AN (817) NUMBER!!! That's Ft. Worth which means THAT'S GLADNEY!!! I totally started shaking. I told the boy that he did a great job, but his teacher was going to have to finish up with him, sent him back into class and stuck my head into the classroom. The sweet teacher could tell there was something wrong with me and came quickly to the door. "I think I just got the call... my adoption call... my referral call..." At this point I was crying and she was telling me to "Go! Go!" and I was telling her that I didn't finish testing that boy nor did I record his scores but there they were and she could record them and she just kept saying, "Go! Go!" So... I started running through the halls. I stopped long enough to tell my friend Edna that I had gotten the call and that I was leaving and for her to tell the Principal that I was gone and who knows what else I said. I was completely bananas AND I HADN'T EVEN LISTENED TO SARA'S MESSAGE YET!!! So... I finally got into my little office, listened to the message I had been waiting for for 4 months 3 weeks and 2 days, quickly called her back to say that I was so excited and that Mick and I would meet at home within the hour and call her back. I grabbed my purse and my coat and RAN to my car, dialing Mick as I ran. He later described my call to him as "hysterical" and not in the "ha ha I get such a kick out of my wife" sense. ;-) I was shaking so much so I thought the best thing I could do would be to distract myself further and make a bunch of calls while I was driving. (I know, I know. You don't have to tell me.) I called my "team." My essentials. My peeps. The ones I would not make it through this life without. And if I didn't call them directly I instructed them to call each other. So thankful for these people. Andrea (one of my essentials) had agreed to come over and take pictures of the event and funnily enough we had just talked that morning about how I needed to make sure I was wearing waterproof mascara on the day of the call b/c she wasn't photoshopping my streaky eyes for me. ;-)

(BTW... I know this is long and you totally don't have to read all this. I'm writing it down so that I remember every detail and can someday share this story with my girl. :-)

So. I arrived at home to find my house in complete shambles! 2 baskets of unfolded laundry in the living room, the boxes where we store the Christmas decorations had not been put away, breakfast dishes all over the kitchen, boy's toys and craft materials strew about everywhere... a real mess. I was in such a manic state I literally RAN all over my house cleaning it and shoving the Christmas boxes and laundry where they would not be seen. I seriously looked around my house 1/2 an hour later and was amazed to discover that I had completely cleaned the living room, dining room and kitchen. Then Mick arrived, then Andrea arrived and being the artistic person that she is she completely re-arranged my dining room so that we could sit at the table but use the natural light from the kitchen to light the photos.




I think you will agree, she did a great job! There are lots more great pix, but since I am doing the ugly cry in most of them, we'll spare the internet and just save those for the scrapbook. You are welcome.

It was an amazing, moving, exciting, life changing experience. And at the same time it felt completely surreal. The most beautiful moment was after the call while Mick and I were getting ready to go eat lunch and I pointed at the sweet face on our computer screen that we had been learning about for the last 1/2 hour or so, the face that belonged to our new daughter- I pointed at that face and said, "Mick- what do you think about all this?" And Mick, never the person most prone to verbosity, said with big tears in his eyes, "I think... I think she looks like she's ours."

And that's when I melted into a puddle on the floor and literally had to be mopped up and squeezed into a bucket.

I told him that was the most wonderful thing he had ever said. And we just held each other.

But then he was hungry and so we went to lunch. I am not lying when I tell you that ALL DAY from the moment I looked at my phone and saw that area code I was completely manic. I was bananas! It was like I was drunk!!! We went to lunch at Hideaway and got the yummy chicken florentine pizza... and at one point while I was chewing Mick said, "This is really good!" I thought for a moment about the food in my mouth and replied, "I honestly can't taste it."

After lunch I scurried to Walgreens to print out copies of the photos so that I could start showing off my little lovely. I was so bonkers that the photo dude must have thought I was an idiot. He practically had to punch every button for me. I then decided that I had just enough time to run to Kelly's house and show her my baby girl before I had to pick the kids up from school... but I was wrong and I was 15 minutes late picking them up which meant that although it was great and important that I got to show Kel, it was a big huge bummer that I missed the pick-up-on-the-playground crowd at school because I love those gals and I couldn't wait to show them my pics!!!! Never mind... I made up for it today by getting to school early and staying late. :-)

I had to go to the office to get my boys b/c that's where they take abandoned children whose irresponsible parents haven't picked them up from school and so after I finally got to them I pulled them aside and said, "Boys! Remember when we talked about how one day soon someone was going to call us with news about our baby (that's what they have been calling her for months now) and that they would send us pictures and we would know her name and all that? Well today was that day! And here is a picture of your new sister!!!" I showed them a photo and Jack took the picture in his hands, gasped and said, "Our sister!" Ben looked at the photo, then looked at me and said in a dead-pan voice, "Is she a boy?" ...and that pretty much sums up my children. :-)

The rest of the day was a blur as I just stared at those photos and read and re-read all her info. My parents came over to see the photos and we went out to dinner to celebrate... but again, I didn't really taste the food. And it was Thai! ;-)

Today I woke up and the first thing I saw were her photos which I had stuck around our bathroom mirror. ...And I just smiled.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was the day that I met my daughter!

My beautiful daughter who is 2 years and 4 months old.

My beautiful daughter who, although she isn't smiling in ANY of her photos, has the most lovely eyes and kissiest lips I have ever seen.

She is real, but this only seems partly-real. I've cried so much I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed!

She's my girl.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

waiting and UNOFFICIAL hope

I don't know why I didn't discover this sooner- it must have been God hiding it from me to maintain my sanity. So many of my fellow Gladney bloggers (who I freely admit to online stalking) have referred to it several times over the past year, but somehow I never looked into it for myself. Until now. What is it that I am referring to? Say it with me Gladney bloggers:

The Gladney FBI UNOFFICIAL list of, well, EVERYTHING!!!

It's unofficial, but it places you in order according to your wait time and and your gender and age preferences. So since I discovered this list last week I just can't stay away from it! And here's why...

According to this UNOFFICIAL list, WE are the next family waiting open to a girl between 18-39 months!!!

So what does that mean? Well, officially it means nothing. There could potentially be many families NOT listed on that site who are actually "in front" of us. But Gladney does not do the number thing like many other agencies do. They just give the average wait list times and in many ways I can see how this could work to keep families from getting too anxious about their 'turn.' BUT... now that I have discovered this list and know that UNOFFICIALLY we are next in line for a girl in that age range... well...

JUST CALL ME ALREADY!!! I WANT TO MEET MY DAUGHTER!!!

ps- I'm not sure which phone our case worker will call from, but if she calls from her direct line, it's ringtone on my phone is "My Girl." :-) So call me, Sara!!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thankful. Humbled.

You know what? My life is perfect.

It really is.

Does that mean that I am deliriously happy? No. Does that mean that I still feel those lovey-dovey feelings every time I look at my husband? Not necessarily. Does that mean that my house is huge and I can afford to pay someone to clean it? Not at all. Does it mean that my kids are perfect and make their beds every morning without being asked and never argue nor get on my nerves? Uh... yeah, right. Does it even mean that we are wealthy and can afford to adopt internationally during a recession without sacrifice?

...oh, I'm sorry. I just had to stop typing and laugh out loud.

But still, my life is perfect.

I have a husband who really loves me and works so hard to provide for our family. I have an adorable (if tiny) house that I really like. I have two sons who I really think are pretty close to perfect. I have a wonderful community around me. I have friends who really get me and know everything there is to know about me and who inexplicably love me anyway. My parents are healthy. My brothers are awesome. I have everything I need. I have a Savior who never tires of picking me up no matter how often I fall down.

My life is perfect.

I need to give more of it away.

"When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required." Luke 12:48

Why have I been blessed with this life? Why do I get to adopt a precious little girl while her Ethiopian mommy doesn't get to raise her? Why are so many in this world unable to give their children a drink of clean water while I have already purchased Christmas presents for my children and hidden them in my closet? Why all the injustice?

Obviously there are no answers. No easy ones, anyway. But one thing I do know: I wasn't blessed with this great life just to keep it to myself. It wasn't given to me so that I could have a great shoe collection (which I do) nor so that my kids could have the latest video gaming system (which they do) nor so that my family could fill our house with everything we need and then some (which we do). I was blessed with this great life so that I could give it away.

I'm thankful for what I have... but also humbled by it. I need to give more away. Not just my stuff. I need to give more of myself away too.

Monday, November 23, 2009

This MAY be the beginning of a TEENSY little problem...



Okay, so SOME of these are gifts for my niece for Christmas... but the fact remains that I do not even have a daughter yet, and I have already bought her a dolly and a TON of hair bows!!! But I found this site and just couldn't stop myself.

So, we all know what's going to happen. We all know that not even one of these bows is going to stay in her hair longer than a minute. We all know that I'm going to go crazy buying all this girly stuff and she's going to be a total tom-boy who just wants to play in the dirt with Jack and Ben. ...But I just can't help myself!!!

And, although I do not have a daughter yet... the key word is just YET!!!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

FOUR


Wow. We are at 4 months. Average time to a toddler referral is... NOW. Longest waiting families currently on the list have waited 5 months... but all that means is that SOMETIME IN THE NEXT 60 DAYS WE ARE GOING TO GET OUR REFERRAL!!! (For those not steeped in the adoption vernacular, the referral is when the case worker from your agency calls you up and says, "I have news!" at which point you and your husband drop whatever it is you are doing immediately and rush home to sit in front of the computer at which point you call said case worker back and tell her that you are together in front of the computer and she then emails you the photos and bio info on your new child!!! So you can see... that referral is pretty important!!!!) (It still takes approximately 3-5 months from the point when you accept your referral before all is set for you to travel over to get your baby, though. But it's THE HUGE STEP we are all waiting for in this adoption process! Well, until we start waiting for her to get a court date in Ethiopia, and then to pass court, and then to get a date at the US Embassy in Addis Ababa, and then to get our travel dates... but first we gotta get that REFERRAL!)

I am so thankful for the place I am in right now- anyone who has read this blog longer than 5 minutes knows that I've had my fair share of freak outs during this process. I'm not saying they are gone for good... I'm sure just about the time I'm putting my family on a plane to Africa I shall have the biggest freak out of all, but as of right now, I'm feeling sooooo peaceful and soooooo excited! I honestly can't wait to see her face or their faces!

It's so tempting to imagine seeing her face for the first time in the pictures and bio info that will be emailed to us by our caseworker- it's so easy to imagine seeing those pics and falling in love. But I'm not putting any pressure on myself to feel any kind of instant magical connection when I first get the email with the pictures and bio information attached. I know some people do- and I think that is amazing and great and beautiful... but I don't want to feel like something is wrong if I don't instantly fall in love with a picture. I mean- who wouldn't hope for love at first sight in this circumstance, though, right? But I'm just going to try to take whatever my initial thoughts or feelings are and be okay with them. Whether or not I feel an instant connection with a picture, she is going to be my daughter! What do you think- those who have adopted before me- what did YOU feel when you first saw pictures of your child or children? Was your connection instant or did it grow over the days and weeks between when you first saw that face and the time to travel?

So... any guesses on the day we will get the call??? Any one want to place any bets??? What day do you think will be the...

...lucky day???