If you happen to be reading this on Facebook, don't worry. I haven't broken my FB fast to post this as a note. My blog is set to automatically upload onto FB. So far I've been w/o it for almost a week and it feels pretty good! It's not that I think FB is bad... just that I perhaps have a problem w/ moderation that needed to be squashed and replaced w/ doing things that are good for me and the world and that bring me closer to God. But I digress...
ONE WEEK from today we have our homestudy! This means that a total stranger will come into my house for 4 hours w/ the sole purpose of JUDGING ME! AAAAAAAUGH!!!!! No, I know that's not what it's all about. But that's what it feels like! I spoke to her on the phone and she sounds very nice and friendly and did her best to set my mind at ease... but I'm still nervous. I've got a list of things that MUST be done around the house before she comes. Things like:
Steam clean all carpets
Dust the tops of all door frames
Take down all curtains, wash them, and re-hang
...along w/ all the 'regular' cleaning and organizing stuff. But really, the house is only part of what makes me nervous. I know she's not coming to do a white glove test, but more to get to know who we are and why we want to adopt. I get nervous thinking about answering questions like, "How prepared do you feel for the challenges that a multi-racial family will present?" Or, "What will you do to ensure that your child stays in touch w/ their culture and heritage?" Or, "What will you do if your child is not attaching well to your family, or vice-versa?" Or, "What will you do if your family doesn't seem to blend well and your older kids are having a problem w/ the younger kids post-adoption?" It's not that I haven't thought through these things and don't have answers.... it's just that I don't think my answers are very good. Because although I'm reading a lot and talking to people and asking questions, and preparing myself for all possible eventualities, academic preparedness can only take you so far. Then you just have to jump in with both feet. And really... I have no idea if these are the questions she will ask. These are the questions I am asking, and therefore feel unprepared to answer.
But... I'm sure it will all be fine. But in the mean time... is that dust I see on the ceiling fan blades???